The Dream

I had a dream that Star Wars RPers, fanfic writers and fan artists would come together under one banner to effect change on a large corporation to build creative content we felt proud of like we did when we first saw Star Wars. I thought it would be good and just for the fandom and everyone. And that we could use Social Media platforms as a tool to express our ideas.

But I was wrong, so very, very wrong. I made mistakes not understanding fans and their needs and wants. I’m a scientist, the personable stuff is excised from me. I did know how to write. My grammar sucks. And social media is getting overwhelming that I do not understand how to program for it or how to use it, anymore. I needed to monetize what I do for deliverables because most fans need tangibles than knowledge and experiences. I had to teach myself about salesmanship, one of my weakest abilities and I did not understand it and I still do not understand it. Sales and marketing are way over my head. And the dream is lost and I’m getting old.

To get out of ruts, I write fanfics, headcanons and metas. I feel some are sensitive proprietary information and if I’m going to get harassed about them, then those fans should pay me. It is why I have Patreon.

I am not a big corporation. I’m a tiny business. I have to hear fan rage and blame because another creative behemoth does not care. They can afford not to listen to fans. I am so small, I am trampled by enraged fans daily and for some fans, I myself don’t understand their rage. As many credentials I have if I can’t figure it out, the behemoth can’t either and won’t.

So, the one impertinent action that will not change in this business is CREATIVITY. Being creative. Writing creatively. I can do that with my grammatical errors. I have written creatively for over 45 years. I might not be good at it, I might suck, I never did it as a career choice, during the dark times I had to conceal it. And then, one day it could not be contained. But creative entities take a toll on emotions and social media makes emotions worse due to programming in 2 dimensions. I’m too scared to transition into 3 dimensions due to set up costs and overhead, and I’m not young.

My business has a brand that do the maintenance. My brand is based on my reputation. I have a bad one because I demand and expect the best because I give my best efforts. I want to help other fans achieve their creative endeavors.

I have friends. Several are neglected. But they can see how hard I am trying and do not impose on me. If they understand, they will help.

My time and my knowledge is all I can give. And do the best I can given my current health concerns. I hate discussing this because my business is not about me, it is about creativity.

Published by Star Wars Actors Guild 77

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