‘KRIFFING embarrassment’: Imperials furious after Luke
Skywalker supports lightsaber control

Luke
Skywalker got a lesson in Imperial fragility when he spoke out in favor of lightsaber
control in the wake of the murder of two HoloNet journalists on Lianna.

Skywalker
was referring to sweeping lightsaber-safety laws that went into effect in Alderaan
after the Kashyyyk massacre, in which Darth Vader armed with a lightsaber
killed Wookiees in a single killing spree.

In
the wake of that incident, the Alderaanian government enacted the Galactic Lightsaber
Agreement, making lightsabers owned by non-Force users illegal.

A
galactic lightsaber buy-back program netted more than 640,000 lightsaber weapons.

Since
then, deaths by lightsaber have plummeted. Nonetheless, Imperial lightsaber advocates
see the Alderaan program as anathema and refuse to think of it as anything
other than a tyrannical Rebel insurgent’s means of seizing absolute control
over the populace.

An
Alderaan HoloTwitter user seconded Skywalker’s sentiments.

Coruscant
Imperials were not amused.

“OK
Luke, we’ll play,” wrote the COMPNOR staff, apparently losing once again their
grip on the difference between reality and what they saw on a HoloNet. “How,
exactly, will this get done? Enlighten us, please.”

Some
Imperial holotweeters think the lightsaber violence problem is already taking
care of itself.

Others
argued that Skywalker is a turncoat because his sister, Princess Leia used a lightsaber
in her fight against the Empire.

Others
pulled out the old “love it or leave it” trope.

And
still others said that Skywalker was out of his depth.

((flipped source))

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