HoloNet Headcanons


I have so many ideas about what the HoloNet would be like during the Imperial era that I just have to share:

  • Non-Human teenagers from all over the galaxy are the backbone of a new wave of anti-Imperial HoloNet memes.
  • People who were friends with Jedi and clones help the meme spread.
  • Hackers and informants help develop incognito ways to spread memes, so the Empire cannot find their identities.
  • The memes eventually develop into subcultures that non-Human teens and friends of Jedi and clones become a part of, all to make a statement against the Empire.

what are these memes like??

  • Palpatine bans interspecies marriage…the HoloNet explodes with the creation of millions (literally millions) of non-Human OC’s shipped with Palpatine. From fluffy fanfiction to RP’s to badly drawn porn.
  • Human artists are paid by the Empire to make songs that are very human-centric…the Holonet parodies these songs to make them anti-Human
  • Non-Humans make Internet slogans of phrases from their first languages badly translated into Basic, in a way that makes them sound pro-Imperial but are secretly anti-Imperial
  • Emperor Palpatine speaks out against the Gran species at a public hearing, saying that the Gran are selfish and too intellectually incompetent to know what is good for them…the HoloNet creates a meme of Palpatine photoshopped as a Gran.
  • The HoloNet finds a bunch of old recorded footage of Palpatine when he was interacting with Gungans on Naboo (as in years before The Phantom Menace took place)…Gungans become the most popular species to ship with Palpatine.
  • So much so that Gungan OC/Sheev becomes a meme in of itself. Gungans of all genders and sexualities are represented by this HoloNet meme
  • The most popular Gungan OC’s develop fan followings and become underground celebrities. Entire groups of non-Human teenagers and friends of Jedi work to keep their OC’s alive and well on the HoloNet
  • Then the HoloNet starts shipping Palpatine with various Jedi
  • The HoloNet’s OTP is Palpatine and Obi-Wan – affectionally named Sheevi-Wan. Old footage of Palpatine and Obi-Wan at public affairs stealing awkward glances at each other makes the ship even more popular. In some corners of the HoloNet, Anakin is also a part of this ship making it an OT3. The OT3 is named SheevAna-Wan.
  • Obi-Wan is unaware of this until one day, Luke goes to his house and shows him Sheevi-Wan and SheevAna-Wan fanfiction and fanart. Obi-Wan’s beard turns gray after that.
  • The second most popular OTP is Palpatine and Tarkin, named Tarkeev. They develop HoloNet personalities as being very ruthless but secretly incompetent and stupid. The meme grows every time someone finds footage of Palpatine or Tarkin making the slightest verbal/nonverbal mistake or fail.
  • A holovideo comprising all these moments to the tune of an anti-Human song becomes such a big hit on the HoloNet that it makes galactic news (of course the journalists who cover the story mysteriously vanish a few days later)
  • Tarkin, meanwhile, has millions of Wookiee OC’s, also of all genders and sexualities, shipped with him
  • When Tarkin threatens to eliminate whoever started the meme, the HoloNet begins shipping more OC’s with many other Imperial officers and leaders

In summary, the HoloNet becomes a place where badly drawn Imperial/non-Human OC porn is a safe, trendy, and fun way to protest against the Empire.

And I bet Sabine Wren is caught up on every single one of these memes.

Published by Star Wars Actors Guild 77

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