the jedi prince series has:
- r2-d2 and c-3po getting painted green and going on an undercover mission
- darth vader’s indestructible right glove that luke chopped off is the star wars universe’s equivalent of excalibur, and whoever holds it becomes the next emperor
- this is thanks to a prophecy
- because there’s a group called the “dark prophets” that literally everyone in the empire listens to
the empire prefaces everything with “dark”
- “dark greetings”
- the rebel alliance builds a fake robo leia who shoots lasers from her eyes
jabba’s dad zorba is there, and he has a beard and hair and tastes so bad the sarlacc spit him out
- one of the main villains is palpatine’s really hot three-eyed son
- (even c-3po commented on how hot he was)
- except he’s not actually palpatine’s son
- palpatine’s real son is another three-eyed dude who’s actually pretty chill
- they are, creatively, named “trioculus” and “triclops”
- anyway, fake son 3-eyed guy falls madly in love with Leia and tries to make her queen of the empire
- but then he gets shot to death at the wedding by robo leia after real leia escapes and leaves robo leia in her place
- there’s a grand moff who wears incredibly tacky blaster shaped dangly earrings
- there’s a random underground jedi base on yavin iv where a jedi kid’s been hiding for a decade
- he’s also palpatine’s grandson
- (only two eyes though)
- also han and chewie are really good cooks
and all that’s only some of what goes down
Don’t forget the meeting of the Moffs called the MOFFERENCE
- they nearly get eaten by giant oysters
- han solo is only the second best corellian pilot after a dude named snoke
- “Easy does it,” Han said. “I’m a Corellian, and we Corellians gave up hugging strangers four centuries ago.”
- i feel it is important to clarify that chewbacca wears an apron while cooking
- ghost obi-wan appears in a vision to luke to give him his computer password
- the password is “JE-99-DI-88-FOR-00-CE”
- han and leia try to elope at space disneyland
- but jabba’s dad sent bounty hunters to cause trouble because he was mad at how much money lando was making on space disneyland
- the rebel alliance built a base on dagobah and after yoda croaked they named it MOUNT YODA
- there’s a planet called chad that is dying from global warming because they have too many space cows who fart too much